Pregnancy - Does it stress you out?

My best bud and I started this blog after a foot reflexology outing some time ago and it has been a while since I last published anything. My bad.

Well, finding an interesting topic to blog about isn't really that easy and I have to admit that I tend to lose steam along the way if I do not complete my entry at first attempt. Excuses, excuses! I know.

So, what triggered this lazy ass to blog again all of a sudden? Easy, I think the topic tells it all. How many of you out there who are married and have been trying for god knows how long to get pregnant but are unsuccessful to date? Have you reached a point where you are tired of trying and the stress from your inability to conceive has finally taken over you and it bothers you somewhat to an unhealthy level? Have you embarked on a frantic google search for answers with key words which have been overly used in the search column like "infertility", "difficulty in getting pregnant", "pregnancy symptoms", "ivf", etc.,? And you constantly ask yourself "why can't I get pregnant for goodness sake?!!" and "is my period coming this month?".

I think some of the sentiments mentioned above are felt by many women out there, sadly including myself. I've come across many forums and blogs on the internet where I realised that many women actually share the same frustration, agony, uncertainty and fear over this whole pregnancy issue and it is comforting to know that you are not alone. Clearly, I'm one of those who has tried to search for some answers from our dear Mr. Google because I don't really have many friends who are in the same position as me. Believe it or not, everyone around me is like so freaking fertile and they are getting pregnant as fast as the shinkansen bullet train! News keep pouring in like cnn's breaking news, with the same headline "Guess Who's Pregnant?". So, as people share this wonderful news with you, how do you feel?

I'm sure we are all very happy for our pregnant friends but sometimes I do feel like i am smiling through the tears (dramatic isn't it?). Trying to react normal to such news isn't that easy at times, particularly if you have been trying for so long, trying to be a spartan warrior by battling with endless emotional ups and downs, gone through the crazy change of numerous gynaes (hoping each time that one would have magical baby hands), swallowed god knows how many clomid pills, injected with syringes that are filled with hormones and to top it all - a surgery. And the last thing you'll probably need is another piece of news that so and so is pregnant and you have to give an oscar worthy reaction to it. Wonderful. Oh, did I mention a surgery? Yes, I went through a surgery after being informed by my fourth gynae that I had an ovarian cyst and endometriosis. I really wondered what my earlier gynaes were doing..

I think it is perfectly normal and natural for anyone to feel bitter about the fact that everyone is getting pregnant except you. You are going through a hard time here, emotionally and physically and you have to be honest with your feelings. I don't think anyone would ever understand how you feel because they are not the ones going through it. I think if we are in such a situation, we have no choice but to learn to cope with it until the stork decides to deliver us the much awaited package. Think positive and be hopeful. I'm sure god has his reasons for this little delay. Good things come to those who wait. So in the meantime, diverse your energy to things that you wish to do other than trying get pregnant (which we must continue to work hard on it). My tomodachi mentioned this phrase "everything happens for a reason" in her previous entry and I absolutely agree with her.

So, to all of you out there who are in the same predicament, chillaks, take good care of yourself and our turn will come. I'm hopeful that mine will.

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
It's the stork with your baby that's who! Hehe...Akan datang..

Times like this...



Photo #1: ShuQi in High Fashion and
 Photography as a form of passion.

Indeed - life is unpredictable.

The recent events around the world continue to slap us in our faces, making us realise how fragile all of us really are .. to the events, thats beyond our imagination.

I was recently at a dinner gathering after work and realised, that, beyond discussing about japan - everyone was of loss for words to talk about anything else. We ended the night talking about the guys army experiences having their feet soaked in wet boots for 8 days. There were still smiles on our faces.

It's sad, but we have hope. The human race shall rise again, and the our prays goes to Japan -and the world at large. ALL the bad stuff shall all come to an END. 

Photo#2: Capturing Memento, by Yours Truly [fay]

Moving away, in the last weeks or rather months - my thoughts has been a spirally, rollercosterly and well, intermittently upward-ish .. in english I think its more commonly known as "PMS"... nonetheless, while I outwardly recognise the power and authority of PMS on us, but .. it seems that this time around, it's abit more. I think it's about ambiguity and all his friends. With the sea of opportunities, sky high of potential and mountains of possibilities - my mind runs amok against this backdrop.

We compain about everything. Whoever came up with the saying, that the grass is greener on the other side, is a genious. At some point, we need to realise that, or rather most of us (at a certain age) have thought through - that -that's not necessarily the case. While there is still a possibility that life is rosier on the other end of the spectrum, we all know everything has its opportunity cost. I guess, my point is.. we should be happy and grateful for what's offered on our plates, for maybe that's what our mini stomach - can stomach for now (without you knowing it).

Over time, I became a true believer that "everything happens for a reason". That does not necessarily imply that - I don't believe in chasing in dreams nor going after what you believe (you want). I just feel that - when things seemingly dont reflect the ideal state (you or I envision them to be), it all happens for a reason, yet known to you or I at this point. Maybe God is @ play, helping us manuever ( urmms...just sipped another mouthful of white wine).

In-house on Friday night. Life's simple pleasures. I was concurrently executing new tricks I learnt from [cosmic], ie the other S, where I stream TVB videos to keep myself sane. 4 vids streaming @ one goal- to outbeat the 79minute constraint per IP that this marvellous drama site sets.Of which would be completed, by the time I am done with my 2 cents worth of ranting. JIT to resume to my 2nd (last half) episode of Rippling Blossom, to continue my admiration over the great Japanese sceneries, mouth watering sashimi,sushi cuisiene and Chi Lam looking like the hadnt aged a day since we last met.



Photo #3: Coffee to go, sunnies, casual
life's finer things

Back to this blog. I am back because I was looking for an outlet to share my thoughts. Yes, it seems like I have alot of thoughts on my mind and I wanted to share it with the world. I look forward for a surprise random feedback. It would be nice to have an annoymous debate, why not. All of us need a mental pingpong. I had also attempted today, to look into how I can boost our readership. I failed, I didnt have the patience to figure out the metadata function. I wanted include more search terms.I might retry that, and I am still happy with 110 hits as of today.

Together with this entry. I have included 3 pics. Random pics that I think are.. nice. Individually described with its accompanying caption- each of is self explanatory and a form of reflection on my state of mind.

I end today's entry for what's more to come with my all time fav signature.

"Life is not measured by the number of breath's we take, but by the moments that take our breath away".

Carpe Diem.

XOXO

fay.

it was about time...

that we or rather I'd write again. I am sure, S will be up and reporting in a bit..
so yes, 23.18pm... double air-conditioned on. freshly washed hair ...sort of blank thoughts, or rather.. complicated thoughts floating around at the moment.
life made easy. or life made complicated.
who are the faces behind these posts that you unpredictably stumble upon.
the world is great. technology is great.
it brings us closer, and keeps us sufficiently apart.
i will leave this for now, at that.
i look forward to write again and hearing your comments on our blog.
xoxo.

indeed, tis' the season to be jolly.....celebrate !

soo.. i m going to do a cut and paste from a offline blog entry, and here it goes (writting approx 8ish pm last night)...

The past few days have been absolutely amazing. They have been simple yet, profound in many different ways.. I am now travelling on a moving vehicle on my way back to another place.. with the lack of internet access in the last hours I have decided that I would make good use of the travel time I have .. and get on with the program, catching up w my share of the blogging (right s?)

Anyway,  for the record ,I just love the idea that we are owning and working on something together.. its sweet. just the feeling of it. So where do I go from here, what would or shall I talk about. Really, it would be and could be anything.. if u alrbvady did realize from the preamble my partner started, we actually don’t have a theme. Yes.. nada.. with that being said. I would like to share a couple of wise lines I came across with recently.. it seems that someone famous once said.. “you got to let go of the life you planned, to embrace the life that’s awaiting for you”. another one goes like, “ life is far too important a thing, to talk seriously about (Oscar Wilde) “.. not sure what I am eluding to, or if I even have a point but it seems like everyone in their 30s have an opinion that life itself is somehow complicated.. is it?

When posed with such question, I tend to always hold the same stance that, “life could be worst”… so, whatever it is that seems like the whole world is crumbling upon you now.. there are many other possible permutations out there that could be worst. This then brings me back to the Eat Pray Love movie/ book I watched/ read few months back. So Liz said this.. every woman in the world, couldn’t escape on tragedy .. yes , being obsessed about their relationships. I think she spoke about a psychologist Dr. friend who was volunteering at some Cambodian refugee camp and she wondered what this American doctor person could advise a bunch of post trauma ladies in the refugee camp.. little did she know.. they all had a common theme …relationship troubles… its interesting, but that’s probably true.

So when I was much younger, and I mean, like 10 years ago or more, I had this crazy idea, I would write a book about relationships. Not that I am an expert or even close  to being veteran in this field, I just thought from the very many relationship emo drama I have heard, saw, experienced around me..i could collate them, and put them together and.. recognized, there are really many ways of looking at a relationship out there. The idea obviously never came to realization, but that was ok as I was too busy doing other things.. but still .. it amazes me that.. all of us, are somehow still talking or debating about some relationship, be it ours, or another.

If you are randomly reading this blog, I would just like to share this key sharing. If do you do.. stumble along something less happy in your life.. just feel all the emo you need to, while you are at it. What I am saying is that - if you need to be sad, be all sad. If you need a closure, get it. If you want to breakaway, see something new. Do it.. just do it. Life’s really too short, to over consider, over calculate, over mitigate. Sometimes, you really gotta just plan less and do more. Execute today, go for it. Whatever you want.

Yes – I sound like a motivational guru, all of a sudden, out of no where .. but I really am not one.  Neither am I just recently out of a bad breakup.  Just random thoughts, random from all the random conversations and environmental observations I thought – worth the while to share.

I look forward to food blogging, or maybe not.

Lets see. Until then, continue to lurveeee….cheerios.

Christmas Is Coming!!!

Tis the season to be jolly,  Fa la la la la, la la la la! Since Christmas is just around the corner, leave a gift for your loved ones, buddies, foes, long lost pals, etc.  under the lovely Christmas tree (at the right side of the blog), with a message...

Merry Christmas!

xoxo
S&S

DEAR SANTA

Dear Santa,

Christmas is nearing and I have one wish. My wish this year may differ a little from the ones that you usually receive from others, eg. the latest Tron action figure, a Buzz Lightyear action figure (from Toy Story), a brand new Kenwood oven, the PlayStation Move, or even the IPad. Mine is none of the above. My wish is really simple but I’m not sure if it’s within the ambit of your magical powers. Here it goes… my wish is… for my follicles to mature to a desired size of probably 15mm – 20mm. Taa daa! A curve ball threw at you aye?

I’m sure lil’ ol’ me is not the only one wishing for this. I was at the gynae’s clinic today and on my way out, I overhead a chirpy lady mending the front desk blurting out there are 22 ladies scheduled for a follicle scan next week (I’m sure they are all praying for their follicles to reach the size of a golf ball when the doctor sees them). See, I’m not alone. So I’m wondering to myself. What’s happening to our women gender these days?! Is getting pregnant really that tough? Let me answer that. YES!!

Actually ever since embarking on this journey of “I wana get pregnant”, through my random observations, I noticed that there are two categories of “I wana get pregnant” group of women.

Group One – I want to get pregnant but well no hurry. I’ll call it the “let nature take its course mentality”. If I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant. Got married and BAM! Guess what? Pregnant next month. Good for you folks. Talk about being super fertile. I know you guys hardly even try.

Group Two – The lets do some planning first / when I’m ready to have a child group. For some reason, ladies in this group aren’t as lucky as those in Group One. This is where all the stress and assortment of infertility treatments kick in. Don’t ask me why cause I seem to fall within Group Two. I have taken x amount of FSH jabs and the only follicle which seems to be responding is a mere 12.8mm. Gynae says, “stubborn eggs you have”. Hmph! Tell me about it doc. My ass is on fire from those jabs! 

So, here you go Santa. As much as I would like to try to stay positive and brain wash myself that maybe it’s not my time yet, I would really, really wish you can use your Santa Clause magical powers and grant me my wish this year. Ok, if you are agreeable to do that, there may be a slight problem as I don’t have a Christmas tree (I really believe in you even though I don’t celebrate Christmas). Urrr, may I propose that you deliver my wish through my next follicle scan? Really saves you the trouble of having to wrap gifts up and go down the chimney. Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

Merry Christmas in advance!

Love,

Egg Awaitor

hello eggnaxionz, timestamping the day our precious was born..watch out for this space.lotsa love. s&s